Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Breast Kind of Cancer

Disclaimer: This article expresses viewpoints that are insensitive. If need be, think of simpler organisms that are void of emotion.

October is synonymous with Biketoberfest, Oktoberfest, and now, boob cancer. It seems bikes, booze and boobs are inseparable. I don’t fabricate reality, I merely observe it. I’m not going to talk much about bikes or booze, I would much rather ride a motorcycle and just enjoy the booze. But breasts! That’s something to talk about. Just kidding. Those are for playtime. We’re talking about cancer.

Cancer has been a curse on the human race for longer than we will ever know. The Ancient Egyptians described it as an incurable disease. The Greeks documented the visible symptoms with no real understanding of cause or cure. Cancer might as well claim hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of deaths that have occurred without rhyme or reason.

I see cancer as the disease that will destroy natural selection amongst humans. Actually, I see all advancements in preventing and “curing” cancer as the problem with the future of mankind. Curing cancer will keep humans at a steady plateau to potentially produce monolithic and destructive overpopulation statistics. Please understand I am speaking without regard for emotions to those who have been affected directly and indirectly by the disease. If need be, think of simpler organisms that are void of emotion. Suffering is suffering, and it isn’t anything to joke about. Unless someone loses an eye, because you know what that means: a sweet glass eye.

Cancer presents itself as immaculate population control. The weeding of weaker or weakened individuals within a species is dependent on the success of its predator. With no physical predator to thin the unending herd of plump, lazy and ignorant Le-a’s and Skylars, there’s little hope Homo Sapiens Sapiens will advance for the better. Civilizations thrived and progressed without hindrance when cancer was a baffling mystery. Eradicating cancer might seem prolonging obvious for the longevity of any species yet counterintuitive for ameliorating every species. Also consider the age demographic cancer is most prone to affect, i.e. typically those well past their prime reproductive age show signs of mutating cells. The number of individuals affected, fatally and otherwise, has remained fairly constant in the past 30 years. Instead of trying to cure cancer, which is not always 100% treatable, medical science should focus its attention on definitely curable illnesses that are contagious and infectious, e.g. HIV and Herpes. Mutations on the cellular level will always occur; they allow for positive adaptations to be of benefit when applicable. Alas, with any trial and error there’s probably going to be a bountiful amount of incorrect mutations relative to one beneficial change. Really, curing cancer is as poignant as keeping up with the latest generation of iPhone; seemingly giving off the impression of doing something cool when it’s just mental masturbation.

Cancer is most often caused, possibly attained, through environmental means with a fair amount resulting from genetic predisposition. Exposure to radiation either by occupation or accident causes mutation of cells. Inhaling known carcinogens, for pleasure or by unfortunate circumstance, will screw with your organs and most likely kill you. Worst of all guys, if your mother has breast cancer you might want to get those moobies checked. Regularly. Realizing that most cases are not accidental but rather self-induced or already innate is evidence enough that these individuals are pursuing self-termination, knowingly or otherwise. There has yet to be a single documented case of cancer being contagious or infectious; therefore, it is impossible to prevent via vaccination. Again, curing cancer is pointless because you cannot stop nature; it isn’t even about trying, it’s about automatically failing.

Given our current place in history, we have the knowledge, not quite wisdom, to lead very proactive and health conscious lifestyles. Considering majority of the population thinks Proactive is an acne treatment, we are nowhere near living above cancer. Still, with the understanding that organically grown vegetables are safer to eat than genetically engineered pesticide-crops, we ought to be able to let the ignorant dine out. I mean die out. Cancer may not be a monumental killer relative to population size but the importance of removing malignant deviations is undeniable.

Before I say long live the strong, I will mention that I avidly inhale carcinogens and am spotted with so many moles that I’m really far too hastily curious to see whether I develop lung or skin cancer first. That said, live long and prosper, cancer.