Friday, February 26, 2010

The Minute Observer Presents: The Despicable Age

A by-product of our glorious society is a phenomenon I refer to as the "Despicable Age". Between the ages of 18 and 21, our youth are barred from adult festivities yet are thrown amidst adult responsibilities. We are also expected to maintain a childlike mentality, so we're obedient I imagine, while we grow into the incapable adults we are fated to be.

At the ripe age of 18, when the fun really starts- when we discover ourselves, when we fall in and out of love only to learn it's just lust, when we disappear in life's mysteries- we are allowed to sacrifice our bodies for our most glorious country, we're allowed to vote for our next glorious leader, we're ready to bend over and get screwed every year for the rest of our lives but we cannot stop by our local bar and have a pint? Not without slighting our glorious law, anyway.


The Law: ever notice that between those ages the only people readily available for intimate relationships are the other people in that age group. It is only so because of the ridiculous and inane law of the land. Connecting with another person, it's non-gender specific these days, you knew from high school who's still in high school after you've graduated isn't always frowned upon but it is illegal. That wonderful word, Jailbait, comes to mind. Then, trying to connect with someone above the age of 21 in the necessary social situation is damn near impossible as they tend to be where a big dude in all black checks your ID to make sure your eye colour is correct, or something like that.

Thankfully, there are plenty of exceptions to these circumstances. But still, the law does infringe upon my pursuit of happiness, usually by the hour. I just find it curious that people haven't even considered the repercussions due to these laws: stinted social growth, inadequate personal development through life, unnecessary and intense anxieties and depressions, prolonged virginity for some- it's just another way we're complacently reminded that we don't have any control except for the remote control.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Minute Observer Presents: Cigarettes May Save Your Soul

So, I’m not sure how many of you are aware of what cigarettes do. Yes, lung cancer, stained teeth, loss of friends, and an open invitation to be ostracized in public situations. Yes, they’re unhealthy. However, those wonderful little sticks actually relieve anxiety and depression. Remember when a few decades back when everyone and their aunt Beth smoked? When it was okay for smoking to be cool; when people could decide for themselves whether or not they wanted to inhale delightful aromatic carcinogens. When the government didn’t decide what was appropriate for its citizens health? Well, back then very few people were even aware of mood-stabilizing medication, let alone SSRI’s. So, it is in earnest observation that I noticed the inverse relationship between cigarette smoking and the use of SSRIs to alleviate the strains and most definitely some of the unbearable circumstances this glorious society sometimes blesses us with in America.

Here’s the thing, though. I don’t think there’s a mass conspiracy behind this with the pharmaceutical companies having an agenda to make money off of anti-depressants. Surprising, I know. They have their pull, though. I do think they took advantage of the fact that a more "educated" world created a more conscientious people by claiming that medication is a perfectly acceptable and healthy way to deal with anxiety. Whether it is acceptable is up for debate, especially considering that over the past 15 years the number of people on happy pills has already doubled, but it's clearly very far from healthy.

And the premise that doctors, people dedicated to healing, were essentially bought and sold to push these pills makes me want to vomit. And the sheeple responded almost perfectly: they lined-up at the drugstore for this shit. Almost a shame they didn’t know they were buying a subscription for the unexpected and exciting side-effects: obesity, insomnia, diminished libido and plenty more soon to come! Remember, most of these people would probably just need a quick smoke break at the worst of nervous moments. Not to say there aren’t people who don’t need mood stabilizers, but those people generally have better things than SSRIs and the generally prescribed lot. Even still, instead of medication these people ought to try and resolve their problems. Just a few minutes of actual thinking would do some people good; whatever happened to just staring out a window and thinking about stuff?

So with cigarette sales at a 55 year low, what can you do to help? Certainly, those on anti-depressants are taking care of themselves. I mean their suicide figures are only climbing. I suggest you re-evaluate the value of a cigarette. The comfort it offers for that single mom who was chewed out by her chauvinistic boss for being late because her youngest has a fever. Think about the simplicity of this comfort; stained teeth and the smell of tobacco smoke seems kind of worth it to me. As for decreased lifespan- well, I'd rather have an enjoyable life over a long life.